•You own a $75 dress suit and a $1000 Gore-Tex suit.

•You have ever frozen your lips to an ice screw while blowing an ice plug at your partner.

•You have ever used an ice axe to chop weeds in the garden.

•A Mexican bus driver has ever had to open his window because of the way you smelled.

•You have more summit pictures than wedding pictures.

•You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your face.

•You can pronounce Popocatepetl correctly more than once in a row.

•You've ever fallen so far that you've run out of adrenaline before you ran out of rope.

•You say "Namaste" instead of "Hello".

•You like the smell of burning yak dung.

•Your suncream is always in a solid state when you need it the most.

•What you call cold is not on the thermometer scale.

•When you hear the words 'nose', 'captain' or 'aid', your hands start hurting and swelling.

•'Cos 90°' means it was too steep to go and has nothing to do with 1.

•You arrive at a climbing gym with stoppers and friends still in your bag.

•You see a girl in the street and you think: "Hmmm, she's a TD+/5.11...".

•Your definition of a candlelight dinner is: "Thaw the ice with the candle and put it in the bag of freeze-dry".

•You hear the name "Hillary" and think of Everest instead of Mrs. Clinton and White House scandals.

•And finally, you understood all the previous lines. If you even laughed, you should get back to work...

You don't walk down stairs, you rappel

You've used an ice axe to clean off the front steps in winter.(Marty Lifgren)
Author: John N. Meyer,Downer

Climbing Humor Categories:
Top 10 Reasons Climbing Is Better Than Sex (t-shirts)
Top Signs You've Been Climbing Too Long
You Might Be A Mountain Climber If..
Top 10 Signs You've Picked The Wrong Climbing Partner
Climbing's Not So Famous Last Words
Funniest/Best Route Names
You Know You Climb Too Much When..
Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Climbing But Aren't
Top 10 Signs Your Climbing Partner Might Be Dangerous
Misc.Climbing Jokes
Actual Comments On Forest Service Comment Cards]
Top 10 "Signs" You Should Not Signup For The Next Denali Trip
Signs You’re Not One Of The Better Climbers In Town:
Signs You've Chosen the Wrong Mount Everest Guide
Top 10 Worst Things For Your Belay To Shout To You While You Struggle With The Crux
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